As I write this, I’m contemplating my life having reached the age of 74 years today. There were times when I wondered if I would make it this far. If my mother were alive today, she would no doubt relate harrowing events when she was sure I would find an early grave. True, I have not shied away from dangerous things. I laugh to myself to this day that the first five times I took off in an airplane, I didn’t land in it. After all, when I went to Army “Jump School” at Fort Benning, Georgia in the summer of 1973, that was the goal. Jump and land as softly as possible while the aircraft disappeared over the horizon.
Other perils came with rigorous field training in the Army. And of course, there were the dangers of combat during the First Gulf War in 1991. You can read all about that in Desert Redleg: Artillery Warfare in the First Gulf War. Unexpected danger was also on the menu a decade earlier when I served as an unarmed peacekeeper in Southern Lebanon in 1981. That story is told in Yanks in Blue Berets: American UN Peacekeepers in the Middle East.
Looking back on those experiences, I know I benefited. If for no other reason, I can vividly recall how truly hard times look and feel. More importantly, having survived those ordeals with others, I also know what real friendships are. They are not the stuff of social media associations, although I am grateful to those who appreciate my writings. Comrades in arms are a special kind of friend. They know. You know. And when we attend reunions from time to time, it’s just good to share a smile, a hand shake, and an arm around the shoulder. War stories are told. Some of them are true and others should have been. There is laughter at both. Other emotions too. But you don’t need to brag about anything. They know. You know. I’m just grateful that I have lived long enough to have those associations. Really.
More recently I was able to celebrate with my Virginia Military Institute (VMI) “Brother Rats”—aka classmates—our 50th reunion. We endured hard times together in a spartan and challenging military environment. For us, unity was the galvanizing element of our existence. One’s race, creed, and economic class meant nothing. When I am with my VMI classmates I am especially glad not only to see them, but also to think about how much our common experience was so valuable to us as we matured one year at a time.
Of course, my biggest blessing in these 74 years is the patience and love of my wife Shelley. I don’t deserve her. Many of us “married up.” I’m married to a tower of strength and love.
Not all has been roses in these three score and 14 years. There have been health issues. And I’m blessed for having been born into a world where remarkable advances have occurred in healthcare. After prostate cancer, three hip replacements—one a do-over—and a bevy of skin disorders, I am still here doing my best to stay healthy. Why?
Well, for sure to be with Shelley. But also, to enjoy our children — Amy, John, and Paul and grandchildren Isaac, Millie, Abby, Arthur, and George. Those recent five are the dessert of life. And of course, life is enhanced with Woody the Wonder Dog. Yes, that yellow Labrador retriever not only fetches wild game, but fetches our hearts when he cocks his head or puts a paw in our lap to signal “is it time for you to give me a bone?” Easy answer. Life is too short to say no.
I’ve seen a lot too, some good, some not so good. I hesitate to say “bad” even those some of it was. And I’ve made many mistakes. It hurts to recall them. But I also have come to appreciate that mistakes are a huge reason all of us can have successes in life. Indeed, I have concluded that wisdom is the sum total of what we learn from our mistakes. In that regard, I have come to a place in my life where I can thank God for my disappointments. Many of them, it turns out, were my disordered affections, thinking that I needed to do one thing when God had a plan for me to do another.
It is because of those disappointments that I have been permitted to mature, especially if I think about them as God-given opportunities to grow and learn. You see, it’s easy to thank God for success. But I have learned to also thank him for disappointments.
And that’s a process that’s taken the better part of 74 years.
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