There’s lots of wisdom concerning the consequences one might suffer when acting out of anger, seeking revenge, or exacting retribution from someone whom you are certain deserves it. The Book of Proverbs is replete with warnings about anger. Here are a few.
- A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)
- A wrathful man stirs up discord, but one slow to anger calms strife. (Proverbs 15:18)
- He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit is better than he who takes a city. (Proverbs 16:32)
- A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but a fool’s wrath is heavier than both of them. Wrath is cruel and anger a torrent, but who is able to stand before jealousy? (Proverbs 27:3 – 4)
Proverbs is equally illuminating on revenge.
- Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs (Proverbs 10:12)
- Do not say, “I’ll do to them as they have done to me; I’ll pay them back for what they did. (Proverbs 24:29)
And this warning on indulging one’s pride in seeking retribution.
- Before a downfall the heart is haughty, but humility comes before honor. (Proverbs 18:12)
Lots of wisdom, but it’s often ignored in the heat of anger while pursuing revenge for an affront, actual or perceived.
If one feels it necessary to reject these proverbial sayings, one might want to remember that “revenge is a dish best served cold.” Of course, Solomon didn’t write that. That cynical saying is the creation of French author Eugène Sue, an aphorism he penned in his 1846 novel Memoirs of Matilda. Better, Sue would suggest, to wait until the temperature drops than to act in haste. But revenge, unlike justice, is truly better delayed, if not forgone and discarded for a better strategy. “Turn the other cheek.” Jesus’s advice is wisdom indeed.
Yet many among us are bow-necked in acting impulsively and—contrary to the aforementioned wisdom—are given to react reflexively and emotionally, doing so with gusto. It’s not smart. In fact, it almost always backfires. Maybe one enjoys a bit of laughter in taking revenge. But there’s yet another wise saying derived from the English play The Christmas Prince in 1608, to wit “He laughs best who laughs last.” Yep, we ignore that too.
What’s the point in all of this? A personal story may illustrate the point better than the aphorisms and sage sayings above.
In 1993 I attended the Army’s “Commanders Course” at Fort Leavenworth, Kansas before assuming command of an artillery battalion in the 2nd Infantry Division based in South Korea. There we refreshed our memories on operational planning, wise techniques in leadership, and the Uniformed Code of Military Justice. The latter was very important in our capacity as commanders. Not only would we be administrators of non-judicial punishment of soldiers for minor infractions of military discipline, but we would be empowered to refer more serious violations to courts martial. And in the case of a Summary Court Martial, a minor venue compared to Special or General Courts Martial, we would act as prosecutor, judge, and jury. I recall to this day the wisdom our instructor—a sagacious Staff Judge Advocate attorney—shared with us. He said this.
“When you’re about to pronounce judgment on a soldier—to really let the hammer drop—and catch yourself feeling good about what you’re about to do, stop. You’re about to something wrong.”
His point was clear to the observant officers present. Justice must be beyond reproach and not the stuff of revenge or retribution. It must be measured, appropriate, proportionate, indeed just. There is no room for emotion to seep into the works of justice with feelings like “this guy has it coming to him and I’m happy to deliver it.” That’s not justice. That’s vengeance, even if the administrator of the penalty isn’t the aggrieved party.
Today in American politics there is much vengeance afoot. The “ins” are out to get the “outs.” And the “outs” can’t wait to get the “ins” once those “ins” are out. It’s a vicious cycle of retribution. And amid all of that, the chastisers seem content to use all means possible to prosecute their opponents once the latter are on the outside. Moreover, these avengers are quite willing to bend the law, abuse the justice system, and co-opt law enforcement to effectuate their wrath. They should remember this. “What goes around comes around,” and the pain they seek to induce for others may become a self-inflicting boomerang.
Like one of my first mentors, then Captain Joe Monko, once coolly intoned when I angrily pronounced that I would “fall on my bayonet” over an issue, “Scott, there’s no such thing as a self-retracting bayonet.” Such is true with vengeance.
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